If you look really closely, consciousness is mostly related to your voice. Both literally and metaphorically. It starts there, lights up. This is one of the reasons I can't believe Mother Nature sometimes.

Your body is a 3D object, from head to toe.

You can also look at reality as if it were a flat 1D frame. And you can process it frame by frame, like layers of a painting.

Frame by frame, you can refine the layers of reality you do or don’t want. This process you call the grail. You end up with a way of looking at the world that I can’t describe in words. Depending on what you want, of course.

Operating a brain and body is 99.9% faith and self-confidence.

If you believe you can wield it perfectly, you can. You know exactly what to do in every situation.

The problem is that very few people have that faith.

There is nothing going to hurt like mental diagnoses do.

This strips you of that belief you forget you once had.

But you can always get it back.

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First of all, consciousness is a dance.

A dance with yourself, and all other things.

Operating a body is, in a sense, a dance.

You do something, you get feedback. Thoughts come back in waves.

You overstep a boundary, your dancing partner lets you know.

Consciousness is also not one thing. It’s multiple things.

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For me, consciousness is dancing with myself in the living room when I am cleaning my house on Friday.

Sometimes I go too fast and I have to slow down.

Rarely the other way around.

It really feels like walking on water, with waves of thoughts coming over you, and emotions.

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The relation between your body and your thoughts is a dance too. Sometimes you over-identify. Sometimes you under-identify.

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I have a lot of detail in my hearing. I find many ordinary sounds very beautiful.

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If you understand it’s a dance, you automatically try as many different steps as possible to see what happens. That’s how you learn most. So you live a very wild, emotional life, and a very sober, rigid life. And then you see how that affects you. And what the pros and cons of both are. It’s phenomenal. Making this jump can be hard if you are a linear thinker with certain convictions. Jumping to the other side can be a leap of faith.

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The moment that I feel the confidence again in your body and brain that you can operate it fully is magical.

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What happens when you medicate? If you medicate a lot, it’s like not making a step in the dance. So after a while, you get no feedback. Well, if that’s what you want... I wouldn’t wish it on my biggest enemy.

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What is the holy grail?

The holy grail is refining the way you look at reality. And realizing how much choice there is in that. It’s like looking through different glasses at the same thing, until you find what works for you. If you see the inside of your head as something made of wood, then you can refine it. You shave off ideas you don’t want. It’s like switching to a very emotional view, with very soft eyes.

For me, it feels like you are going through one frame of reality at a time. And you process those different ways of looking at things and ditch the ones you don’t like. This is a very spiritual process.

If you look at something the same way the whole time, it becomes that.

If you look at yourself as if you are worth less than somebody else, you are going to behave that way, and then it kind of becomes true. That’s the problem with always looking from the same angle. The hard part is looking at yourself from a completely different angle. In this example, as if you are worth exactly as much as all other living creatures. This takes unbelievable courage. You say: not me. I am worth exactly as much as you. Also, be careful, if you are religious, that you don’t undervalue yourself.