I have a very simple theory.

I think the brain is a relationship device.

We usually think of the brain in absolutes. But the brain is only relevant in its relationship with the body and the environment.

A brain isn’t just a small, isolated machine operating on itself. It’s more like a train station: it only matters when it’s connected to other cities.

And I think that all psychiatric disorders are actually disturbed relationships.

For example:

  • An eating disorder is a disturbed relationship between emotions and food.

  • A depression is a disturbed relationship with meaningful work or social connections.

  • Anxiety is a disturbed relationship with tension and stress.

  • PTSD is an umbrella term for disturbed relationships with events from the past.

  • Psychosis can be the long-term result of unhealthy relationships with taking care of your body, suppressing your voice, your emotions, etc.

 

AD(H)D: I don’t think “distracted” is the right term. People with AD(H)D form new, unfamiliar relationships faster. To the outside world, that makes it look like you’re distracted all the time.

Autism: A limited number of relationships, but those relationships have a lot of depth.

 

Why this is important

Because relationships change all the time. You have much more influence on your psychiatric condition than you think.
I decided to test this by messing up all my relationships — both with my body and with my environment.
I ended up in a psychosis.

 

How you can check this

You can literally ask your brain to show all relationships (it works with sound waves). Now you get a list of all relationships — for example, in the form of thoughts and feelings.

A depression is a disturbed relationship with your environment.
Anxiety is a disturbed relationship with tension and stress.
An eating disorder is a disturbed relationship with emotions.

I think the brain has a different function than we assume. We tend to think in terms of regions: this part controls breathing, that part controls motor skills.
But the brain also works with:

• Energy (efficiency)
• Relative importance

In other words: what should I still spend energy on, what have I already spent energy on, and what do I consider important?

And you can only see those things in the relationships between things.

You only know where you should spend energy after you’ve spent energy on the wrong things for a while.
You only know what is truly important once you’ve lost everything at least once.

When you dream, those relationships fall asleep. Then everything you find important, everything that moves you emotionally, and everything you can and want to invest energy in gets thrown into one pile.

Don’t think in terms of “I am my brain.”

Think in terms of: I am my whole body.
Or even: I am my whole body simultaneously.

This makes a real difference in practice, even though it’s hard to verbalize.

When you think from your whole body, everything shifts a little.
And that small shift can make a big difference over longer periods of time.

Yes, the brain is important.
But geographically, the brain is just a small part of you.
Your body is much larger than your brain alone.

Making the brain the most important thing is like making one foot the most important part of your entire body.

There are two ways to exaggerate the importance of one part:
• You can say: “This foot is more important than each other body part individually.”
• Or you can say: “This foot is more important than the rest of my whole body combined.”