Most kids with ADD are not distracted at all—they're thinking about something related.

When I was five, my family and I were having a dinner conversation about cars. My nephew suddenly started talking about elephants.
From an outsider’s perspective, it looked like he was hijacking the conversation—like he was bored, distracted, not listening.

But as the conversation progressed, we found out that he was actually thinking about how cars work: that they have mechanical parts inside them. He had seen those mechanical things in a television show—a show he always watched at his aunt’s house. And that aunt happened to like elephants.

This whole process happened in a second. You can imagine how hard it is for kids to explain how deep their thought process really goes. In that sense, thoughts, thinking, and understanding move faster than the ability to explain them—especially for children.

What looks like a distraction is actually a new connection.

I think this happens a lot in ADD diagnoses. We all know the type: dreamy, never seems to listen, not a lot of focus (I’m like that too). But when you start asking questions, you often find that these people are actually sharp and empathic.

So, in order to know whether someone has ADD or not, you shouldn’t just look at whether they’re distracted—but also what they’re thinking about.

That way, you can retrace the steps backward and find that they were actually paying attention.

I also want to suggest that, before we start labeling things as disorders, we first try to understand how they work. Not the other way around.