You Can Talk to Thoughts and They Talk Back
A thought is something interactive. Talk to the thoughts that annoy you and they start talking back. You can also do this with feelings.
I see a lot of people taking a very passive approach when it comes to thoughts and feelings.
It’s not that there is a right or wrong approach—there’s simply a lot possible. But it’s not that thoughts just happen to you and you have to sit around waiting for the next thought. Treat them proactively, and you’ll understand how it works over time.
How to address thoughts
First, you identify your thoughts. For instance, you make a list. Some will be recurring more than others. Writing them down takes the fear out.
Now, you start to talk to them within yourself. Or, if you are by yourself, you can also do it out loud. This is a physical action.
“I don’t like you, thought X.”
“Or I don’t like you, feeling X.”
I have thoughts in my head I sometimes send legitimate threats to. If it’s not acceptable for me, it’s not acceptable.
Always be careful with the Buddhist approach, which is often too passive and lacks real understanding of how thoughts work. Simply non-identifying is not enough. You have to do the opposite: go to the darkest thoughts and the darkest places in your body. It’s like shining a light—no matter what they say, no matter how they scream, you did something courageous.
This process has infinite depth
For instance:
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I start fighting with a thought.
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Realisation: why am I fighting with this thought? What does this say about me?
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What is the thought about?
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Etc.
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Etc.
There are thousands of levels, even within a single thought. But never be afraid to take the first step. Address thoughts and feelings you don’t like proactively.
Language Boxes Reality
We start with everything — a very big box.
Now we add a sentence:
In your tax return, you entered €200,000 under second home.
In the first three words, we narrowed reality from everything to something very small: a digital or paper tax return form.
The trick with language, if you want to transfer information, is to make the box small in the very first words.
If I had started the sentence with “At second home …”, the box would still be quite big.
Multiple Roads Lead to Rome
If you see reality as a photo:
Buddhism is the equivalent of putting an identical photo on top of this reality.
Religion is the equivalent of putting a different photo on top of reality.
Both have upsides and downsides.
With Buddhism, you experience reality as it is, which is simply beautiful. It’s very elegant.
Religion is like living in two worlds at the same time: you have this reality, and another reality.
The problem with Buddhism is that the outside world constantly changes, so you have to readjust more often. Religion takes a harder stance: you believe things that are fictitious. Religion has one huge advantage, though—you’ll learn faster, because it’s less defined.
Difference Between Religions
You can’t compare different religions, because they are completely different. Each has its own feel and focus in its second layer.
What the Pros Do
The pros understand the game and switch between baseline reality and taking an opposing stance. This helps you form your own opinion about things.