How Long It Took Me to Become a Psychiatric Patient

When I was young, I was extremely happy.
That’s why I decided to put it to the test: what if I lived a bit more loosely and took more risks — just to see what would happen? After all, I could already be happy.
Below you can see how long it took before things went wrong and I received my first diagnoses.
The problem is that the consequences of your behavior only “kick in” later. If you take less good care of yourself, it’s not immediately visible. You only pay the price later, and by then it can already be too late.

From the moment I started living more wildly until I got my first diagnoses took about 15 years.

From my thirties on, things moved quickly: you first get the more generic labels like depression and GAD, sometimes combined with ADHD and autism. Psychosis has the longest build-up: I estimate at least 10 years, accelerated by substance use.

At 35, I decided to live “normally” again. Now I have zero complaints and I’m happier than average. I don’t use any medication.

What I mean by “living normally”

• Taking good care of yourself: both the stick and the carrot. Sometimes you’re strict with yourself, sometimes extremely loving. You need both.

• My home is always tidy.

• Several moments of silence every day.

• Exercise once a day.

• Unlimited vegetables and fruit.

• Be careful with loopholes like calorie counting — don’t get stuck in them too long.

• Connection is the key that always works. If you feel something unpleasant inside yourself, go toward it. If you have an unpleasant memory, think about it. Take your time. The world is rushed enough already.

• Contact with other people.

• Try to feel pain.

• Try to feel sadness.

• Try to feel bad.

• Maintain a fixed sleep rhythm.

• No substances anymore, only alcohol occasionally.

• Forgive yourself; show compassion toward yourself. Everyone makes mistakes.

• Stand up for yourself; martial arts.

• Throw out the emotion.

I’m not writing this because I think I’m so amazing. But it’s important to understand that mislearned behaviors only show up much later. It’s not like if you do something wrong, you immediately become a psychiatric patient. It takes years. And by the time you’ve lost your way, you often don’t realize that you’ve actually been doing things wrong for years.

In my psychosis I thought my dog was a robot, that I was seeing a simulation, and that the whole world was watching me. Now I have a serious job with a lot of responsibility. Looking back, I don’t blame myself for anything — but you really can’t see it anymore once you’re in it.

AI and AGI have nothing to do with intelligence.
Intelligence is not about winning at something; it’s about understanding why you win at something—and being able to explain that.
A computer doesn’t have that ability. The fact that a computer wins at chess doesn’t mean it understands chess. It doesn’t understand a single thing about chess, except following a very short electrical circuit. You can’t give a computer a beer and say: ‘Explain to me how you did this back then.

Het enige dat bestaat, is nu. Dus zeggen dat de aarde 13,8 miljard jaar oud is, klopt niet echt. Want toen was er ook alleen een “nu.”

We zijn dus nooit vooruitgegaan in de tijd; we zijn altijd op hetzelfde punt gebleven. Het verleden bestaat wel, maar alleen in onze herinneringen. En die herinneringen zijn ook nu.

Tijd is meer een kwestie van perspectief. Vanaf de andere kant van de aarde kun je ook “nu” naar de zon kijken, maar voor jou is het later. Of het zijn de seizoenen die rondgaan, altijd hetzelfde blijven, en toch ook weer niet.