My thinking has a lot of street knowledge in it, a lot of feminine and religious traits. But also a bit LA-vibed, for instance.

It can be very rigid from time to time, but when I am on point, I am not rigid — everything feels fluent, like being in a constant flow state.

I want to do everything on feel and emotion. I don’t care about being factual or rationally right, which is unusual in this time. I also don’t care about the trophies. I think Buddhism is the most poisonous and dangerous way to look at the world, and I am not kidding.

Above may sound arrogant. The point is not positioning yourself as smarter, but recognizing how much your thinking and viewing of the world is influenced by art, religion, and science.

I once spent 30 years figuring out one emotion. I think it’s about freedom, but I am not sure.

An important thing for me: to be in top shape, I need to surround myself with a lot of things I don’t like. People I don’t like, the things they do — it’s better for me. That makes me sharper.

My pitfall is not having confidence, or freezing, or being too critical of myself. I lost a lot of faith over time, but I am getting it back.

I love thinking. I love going through the hurdles, the nights of not being able to sleep, overcoming the levels of worrying, the clutter in your brain — and then you feel like everything becomes butter and flow, and your thinking becomes clean, mechanical. It’s like learning to kickbox: at first you have to think, and then you think without thinking. You look and you get it, and you don’t want to explain it — that’s how beautiful it is.

I was too far away. I was lacking. I had to come back. Now I am back, now I am better. It made me stronger — the depression, the psychosis — it became personal, a personal fight with myself.

Too long I am stuck in this office building, but I built new friendships, and some life rhythm is good for me. I am too critical once again. I am always looking for that something on the other side, but it’s dangling right in front of my eyes.

Thinking in Terms of Energy

Hitting energy at the right time means that you visit somebody when you are at your peak, and the other welcomes you at their peak. Maybe you talk for an hour, both in your best energy, and then it’s done, and you leave.

This is the opposite of being in a relationship with somebody and ending up on the couch every night. You don’t meet each other at your best energy, but all the time—which is always suboptimal.

It’s like exactly knowing when to leave a birthday party at the right time.

What you believe yourself to be is the most important principle forever: if you believe you can do nothing, and you see it that way, then it becomes your reality.