The Hard Part About Moving Between Social Classes Is the Belief System

I grew up in a poor household—the kind where you share a bunk bed with your brother (not that there's anything wrong with that).

In my family, nobody had gone to university. Also, nobody had ever managed to buy their own home. Again, not that it matters, or that there's anything wrong with that.

My dad used to say things like, "Only a few people have all the money in the world, so either you become a very successful football player or an entrepreneur; otherwise, you have failed." It's exactly this kind of logic that not only puts enormous pressure on children, but is also simply wrong.

I basically messed up everything. I actually made it to a mental institution—twice. So you could argue that I even went down in social class. At 33, I decided to change everything in my life: what I ate, how I worked out, my discipline, the people around me, and so on.

Now, a few years later, I am the first person in my family to graduate from university (a big deal in Europe), and I live in my own €500,000 apartment. For the last time: I don't really care about these things. But sometimes it helps to read examples like this.

For me, the hardest parts of moving between social classes were these:

#1 People in lower social classes often have very dangerous beliefs about success.

They often think it's all or nothing—that you can only make it out as a successful athlete or entrepreneur. Total nonsense.

I live a middle-class life now (maybe a little above that, but not much), and it feels very comfortable. It feels rich. I feel rich. I have everything I need.

#2 People in higher social classes work much harder than you think.

Yes, really.

You can beat them, but don't forget that you're competing with people who have dedicated their lives to these things. Competing against someone who has been doing an office job for 20 years and is genuinely good at it is much harder than you think.

It takes years to become good at something.

#3 Moving between social classes takes years.

It's not like you walk in, learn the language, and you're done. Your beliefs are going to be tested over and over again.

Some beliefs you'll hold onto. Others you'll drop.

That's how it should be.

#4 Buying a house is a much bigger deal than you think (at least in Western Europe).

If I lose everything today and have to sell my house, I still walk away with a few hundred thousand euros in the bank.

You've also moved into the upper part of society in terms of financial security. You're basically safe for years.

#5 People in lower social classes are often not very good at celebrating moments of pride.

In higher social classes, people celebrate everything: graduating from university, buying a house, getting promotions.

I don't even celebrate my birthday.

It's important to allow yourself to feel proud of what you have accomplished.

#6 I am white, but even I felt like other white people were constantly working against me, so to speak.

It often felt as if they were speaking a hidden language that I didn't understand.

This probably feels even worse when you're from a different culture.

People are nicer than you think. They're not constantly trying to screw you over.

They really aren't.

#7 Don't forget: the competition is not about who belongs to the highest social class.

Many wealthy people are still considered low-class by some people. Money and social class are not the same thing.

It has nothing to do with that.