The component of belief is so strong that we almost create our own reality. Don't underestimate that. If you think that is what it is, then you expect reality to be that way, and that is what it becomes.

How parents can contribute to anxiety disorders

If you teach a child something like this:

If X happens, then hypothetical Y.

For example:

If you don't do well in school, you'll end up as a bum.

This is literally what anxiety is. You do it out of stress and fear.

You scare someone because you are scared yourself, and you want to prevent that from happening to your child.

But the reason you teach it to your child in the first place is because you are already afraid yourself. Afraid that your child won't keep up, for example.

Or that feeling comes from somewhere completely different. You’re not sure.

Small Box

The problem is that it never stops.

You have X amount of energy.

If you are critical of yourself and believe that you have to do your work well and take it seriously, then every second you are not working feels like a wasted second. That is how it feels.

Logically, that makes sense. Working is good; not working is wrong.

And yet, that is not how it works in practice. In practice, you sometimes have to make your world as small as possible. “Right now, I am only going to work on this paragraph for half an hour.” You put it in a box.

And for all the other seconds, I am going to spend zero energy on work. That is healthy. Otherwise, it never stops. Never. There is no scenario in which I think about work when I am outside of work. Then I think about myself or about other people.

What Is There Today?

Start with what is there.

Feel what is there.

Maybe today there is a little more tension, more sadness, or more relief that you can work from.

This is the foundation, the sensory part.