I see people throwing their own system into a state of imbalance before they do something. Like judging yourself emotionally, and then doing the thing. In normal English: hating on yourself before you start. Be careful with that. The imbalance comes after.

Stop unidentifying with thoughts

Thoughts explain to you over time what you find important. It’s a loop. If you unidentify with thoughts, you confuse yourself.

There are billions of things you are not thinking about right now.

That we are all thinking right now

Life exists in every dimension.

So you can see yourself as a person.

But you can also experience it as energy, or vibrations.

A man or woman. Or something else.

It’s very hard to explain to people who look at reality through one pair of glasses, especially if you are scientifically minded.

Sometimes people talk about ego death. I wouldn’t use that analogy. I think it’s honorable to own your thoughts, and not pretend like you are neither one of them. But that everything is connected is true as much as you like it to be.

About the collective consciousness

This exists – religion is the best example of this. It basically means that everybody realizes we are all thinking about the same thing often, as one shared thought. It’s also a form of respect, that you respect that others are thinking too. That they have the ‘same’ things you have. This gives a sense of connection.

I don’t want to push you in a direction, but for me it’s like this:

• you think

Parallel, you have other thoughts – that’s how you learn over time what you find important. So don’t shy away from dark thoughts. This one enormous stack of thoughts and thinking leads to something: the real you. Imagine all the things you thought about in your life and how that guided you.

** Consciousness is knowing what you are thinking about. It’s like an extra layer on top.

*** Emotional intelligence doesn’t necessarily mean that you are smart, but that you know when to do something and when not.

**** At the highest levels of thinking, people ‘time’ their thoughts.

Thinking also helps you get through life stages, like in the OCD stage, where you have to learn to find the rhythm between you and your thoughts.

I have had so many beautiful thoughts that I am truly grateful. So many levels, some were very hard.

Like simply understanding this makes you feel so much more connected to other people. Hard to explain.

When I was little, I more or less discovered by accident that you can gain control over your entire brain and body. This doesn’t mean that you can consciously control your heart rate, but rather that when you find yourself in certain situations, you can learn to react in a completely different way from how you normally would. That is what learning is.

The body is incredibly energy-efficient. You simply don’t have the time to think about everything you do and whether you’re doing it in the best possible way.

Does your foot touch the ground? You know you have to lift it again.

There are billions of things like that in your system right now.

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You have that unpleasant feeling → you turn to substances.

An emotion comes up → you push the emotion away.

You feel an itch on your nose → you sneeze.

You don’t feel good → you go exercise.

You feel restless → you light a cigarette.

You’re scared → you remain frozen for three hours.

Something feels wrong in your body → you forbid yourself from eating.

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I don’t mean this as a value judgment. I’m not saying that one behavior is better than another. But it is important to understand how it works, and to understand that you can absolutely change it.

If you know that you can change anything, you’re never afraid again. In fact, it becomes kind of funny to live like an addict for a while, like a bored office worker for a while, or even to spend some time in a psychiatric hospital.

I don’t care what feeling comes over me. Even if that feeling meant that I would suddenly drop dead right now. Because of that, I don’t have to run away from things.

An easy way to unlearn things

1. Be aware of the exact feeling that makes you light a cigarette.
2. Every time that feeling comes up, let it completely roll out like a wave. The first time, the feeling peaks intensely.
3. The second time, it is less intense. The third time, much less. If you proactively sit with it, you can get rid of the pattern surprisingly quickly.
4. Wait calmly, or immediately go and do something else. Now there is already a different pattern in your brain.

I sound like a terrible car salesman, but once you get good at this, you can get rid of many of your addictions simply because you understand how they work.

It is much easier, though, when you are generally fit and in good shape. It’s not about punishing yourself. It’s about being aware of why you are doing what you are doing.

Big but

The patterns that involve making yourself eat less are extremely difficult, because the feeling comes up in your stomach. If you immediately push that feeling away and try to control it by eating less, you can quickly get into trouble.

So be careful with that.

You can get into a kind of “lock-in,” where you automatically start suppressing the feeling.

Why many people take Sunday as a day of rest

It gives you a chance to let those feelings come up while deliberately doing something different from what you normally do.

So, for example, don’t always go exercise.

That makes the contrast bigger, and you learn faster.

Just try it once.

It might feel a little forced (forget the higher power), but it works.

Calmness Is the Most Overrated Thing in the World

When you read about Buddhist traditions, it is as if the highest goal you can achieve is inner peace and calmness. Fantastic. I can do that neat little trick with letting my nervous system unload too.

But impulsivity is among the most underrated qualities of this universe. You need the speed. Why? If you suddenly need to help somebody on the street, then calmness is actually a disadvantage. Impulsiveness is what you need.

Also, if you really live in the present, in the here and now, then it’s weird to be calm the whole time, as if reality is not affecting you. Since literally everything in the world has changed one second from now. Literally everything is different.