If you sit two hyperactive people next to each other and look closely, you’ll see that there are different types of hyperactivity.
One driven by emotion. The other more playful. And there are countless other variations.
At first glance, it all looks like ADHD. But in reality, they have nothing to do with each other.

Relationships

Before I start: I know what I’m talking about. I spent months in psychiatric care, including time in a psychiatric hospital. Now I’m in very good shape, making good money, living a good life. Less than that is absolutely not acceptable to me. It’s either feeling perfect, having a beautiful life — or going down in flames. I am not going to live a life feeling bad.

My diagnoses: Autism (runs in the family), ADHD (runs on the other side of the family), anxiety, psychosis. I’ve been picked up by a van and taken to a psychiatric hospital because I couldn’t take care of myself. Besides that, I also lived like a junkie a few years ago.

What is mental health?
Mental health is a very confusing term. It’s an umbrella term.

‘Health’ is everything — physical and mental. Everything is connected. Anxiety is just as much physical as it is mental.

I think the number of people who have only mental problems is extremely limited. A lot of what we call mental health issues is your body trying to explain disturbed relationships to you.

  • Anorexia → a disturbed relationship with emotions and food

  • Anxiety → a disturbed relationship with fear and excitement; not understanding that it’s actually necessary

  • Depression → an unhealthy relationship with meaningful work, or with other people

One of the worst places to be is having a disturbed view of other people — as if everything is evil. This can make you completely paranoid. As if everyone is out to get you.

Dit moment is precies zoals het hoort te zijn.
Inclusief je twijfel. Inclusief de spanning in je lichaam.
Alles is perfect.
Alles wat nu gebeurt, hoort precies zo te zijn.
Als het niet precies zo was zoals het nu is, dan was het niet goed geweest.

This moment is exactly as it should be.
Including your doubt. Including the tension in your body.
Everything is perfect.
Everything that is happening now is meant to happen exactly this way.
If it weren’t exactly as it is now, it wouldn’t have been right.

Op dat moment
Ik zag laatst een filmpje van een man die de scheidsrechter knock-out sloeg. Ik herkende mezelf erin.
Agressie is niet het probleem. Dat is hoe het eruitziet.
Het probleem is dat er op dat moment niets anders belangrijk is dan voetbal. Er bestaat in dat moment niets anders in de wereld. Je denkt alleen maar aan voetbal, en indirect alleen aan jezelf.
Later heb je spijt. Daarom maakt het wel uit dat mensen later spijt hebben, maar het betekent niet dat het probleem is opgelost. Het kan weer gebeuren, op een moment dat niets anders dan voetbal belangrijk is.

In That Moment
I recently saw a video of a man knocking out the referee. I saw myself in him.
Aggression isn't the problem. That's just what it looks like.
The problem is that, in that moment, nothing matters except football. In that moment, nothing else exists in the world. All you think about is football—and indirectly, only about yourself.
Later, you feel regret. That's why it does matter that people regret it afterwards, but it doesn't mean the problem is solved. It can happen again, in a moment when nothing else but football seems important.

Eerst moet je een onderscheid maken tussen:

Bewustzijn: je bewust zijn van een probleem. Zoals over een seksuele grens heengaan, waarvan je daarvoor niet wist dat het een probleem was.
Of je bewust worden van wat je eet. Calorieën tellen. Je wordt je dan bewust, je wordt een soort van wakker, en er gaan nieuwe dingen opvallen.

En je hebt consciousness: de Nederlandse vertaling is bewustzijn, maar voor mijn gevoel klopt dat niet. Consciousness is het lichaam dat uitlegt hoe het werkt. Op celniveau.

First, you need to make a distinction between:

Awareness: being aware of a problem. Like crossing a sexual boundary you didn’t know was a problem before.
Or becoming aware of what you eat—counting calories. You become aware, you sort of wake up, and new things start to stand out.

And then there's consciousness: the Dutch translation is bewustzijn, but to me that doesn’t feel quite right. Consciousness is the body explaining how it works. On a cellular level.